FATHERS AND FAMILIES
Expository Bible Studies
God intends for every family to gather together in the Lord Jesus Christ for teaching, prayer and worship. Each father, as spiritual head of the family, has a duty to command his children to follow God. As we consider the verses below, keep in mind that the Hebrew term “father” may include grandfather and great-grandfather as well.
ABRAHAM:
THE FATHER OF MANY NATIONS
Abraham, originally named Abram, lived one hundred and seventy five years. 1Genesis 25:7 He was born in Ur of the Chaldees, around 2165 B.C. In Genesis 12:1-3, God made a covenant with Abraham and promised him: (1) a land, (2) that he would be a great nation, and (3) all the families of the earth would be blessed in him. The Jews of the New Testament considered Abraham to be their father. 2John 8:39 God preached the gospel of salvation by faith to Abraham and selected Abraham and his offspring to bless the nations. 3Galatians 3:8
Abraham teaches us lessons about fathers. Every spiritual believer will teach other spiritual believers about how to act. Even children will teach parents, in one way or another. God chose Abraham to teach us lessons about being a father pleasing to God.
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Lesson One Children learn to love God, or not, by watching fathers.
Lesson Two God commanded fathers to command their children to follow God.
Lesson Three Fathers teach always, so always be careful about what you teach.
Lesson Four Fathers teach from their hearts directly to the hearts of their children.
Lesson Five Fathers must have absolute love joined to absolute grace, justice, and mercy. |
As we study the life of Abraham, we may learn about this father of many nations who served as a father chosen by God to receive promises for all the people of the earth. You may recall that every family in heaven and on earth derives its name from God as Father. 4Ephesians 3:14-15
For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice, so that the LORD may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.
Genesis 18:19
As you can see from the verse above, God directed Abraham to command his children and his household after him to keep “the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice . . . . ” 5Genesis 18:19 In this verse, God highlights righteousness. This term for righteousness signals that Abraham found righteousness with God by faith alone. 6Romans 4:1-15
The application here means that fathers must teach their children about salvation by faith in Jesus Christ, and the spiritual life based upon faith righteousness. Righteousness refers to a quality of Yahweh that means upright, morally and ethically perfect. Notice the verse speaks of “doing.” We walk in the way of Yahweh by doing righteousness. Fathers teach their children by doing, that is, by example, and also by teaching with words. Therefore, in addition to salvation, and the entire spiritual life of righteousness based upon faith, God also commands fathers to teach their children about justice. The righteous rejoice in justice and it refers to doing the correct thing before God. 7Psalm 32:11 You can wear justice as a robe. 8Job 29:14; Isaiah 61:10 God repeatedly placed a duty upon fathers, as spiritual leaders of the family, to be sure their children followed Christ. In the New Testament, God included even Gentiles in the promise of salvation made to Abraham: “if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise.” 9Galatians 3:29 God promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations, and so we Gentiles have been brought into the family of God. 10Romans 4:16-18 As children of Abraham, we should do the works of Abraham, including the obligation to learn righteousness and justice at home, from our fathers. 11John 8:39 Just as God commanded Abraham to teach his children, so also God commanded Moses.
MOSES:
THE FATHER OF THE EXODUS
Moses lived one hundred and twenty years (1525-1405 B.C.). When he died, “his eye was not dim, nor his vigor abated.” 12Deuteronomy 34:7 Originally, the people of Israel fled famine in Canaan and moved to Egypt, and enjoyed the protection of Joseph, a Jew elevated to a high office in the Egyptian kingdom. The Jews continued to live in Egypt, but long after Joseph died, a new Pharaoh enslaved and persecuted them. About 1445 B.C., God called Moses to lead the people of Israel out of Egyptian slavery and back to the promised land.
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Lesson One Fathers must teach their children about God.
Lesson Two Fathers must teach their children diligently.
Lesson Three Fathers must talk to the their children when they sit in their house.
Lesson Four Fathers must talk to their children when they walk by the way.
Lesson Five Fathers must talk to their children when they rise up and when they lie down. |
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your might.
Deuteronomy 6:5
As God instructed Moses about having a relationship with the living God, He told Moses that all Israel should know that Yahweh is their only God, and all of them must love Him with all their heart and with all of their soul and with all of their might. 13Deuteronomy 6:4-5 Yahweh then gave Moses a specific command on how to pass the faith from generation to generation.
You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
Deuteronomy 6:7
Children will always learn spiritual lessons and life paths from their fathers. In some cases, the father has passed away or left the family. Event then, many children learn about their absent fathers and ponder their lives. For every father, be sure to ponder father lessons from the Bible.
Yahweh commanded the people of Israel to teach His commands. Fathers must diligently talk of God’s commands to their sons when they sit in their house and when they walk by the way and when they lie down and whey they rise up. 14Deuteronomy 6:7 The teaching takes place all day, every day, so that the children will be well taught to love Yahweh, known in the New Testament as Jesus Christ. 15Exodus 3:14; John 8:58 Furthermore, Yahweh always intended for the children to learn from their parents so that one generation would teach the next. 16Exodus 12:26-27 (teaching children about the Passover); Exodus 13:8 (teaching children about the Feast of Unleavened bread); Deuteronomy 31:12 (teaching the general assembly, specifically including the children, to hear and obey the Law Fathers must discipline their sons. 17Deuteronomy 8:5 The rebellious and disobedient, gluttonous and drunkard sons were to be stoned so that the evil would be removed the midst of Israel and all Israel would hear and fear 18Deuteronomy 21:18-21. God gave specific instructions that fathers should not put up with disobedient sons.
ELI:
SONS OF SIN
Eli served as a priest of God at Shiloh, where the tabernacle of God had been pitched for many years during the time of the Judges. 19Joshua 18:1; Judges 18:31 Before the people of Israel entered the promised land, God had appointed the tribe of Levi to serve as priests for Israel, and God alone was their inheritance in the promised land. 20Deuteronomy 10:9 Aaron, the brother of Moses, served as a high priest during the Exodus from Egypt. Aaron had four sons, Nadab, Abihu, Eleazar and Ithamar. 21Numbers 26:60. Nadab and Abihu died when they offered strange fire before the LORD (Numbers 26:61, Leviticus 10:1-3–Notice there that Aaron kept silent). The story of Eli centers around the final and tragic end of the line of priests through Ithamar. Because of sin in the family, and disobedient sons and a lax father, God terminated a family line from serving Him any longer as priests.
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Lesson One Fathers sin when they lose spiritual oversight over their children.
Lesson Two Fathers sin when they participate in the sins of their children.
Lesson Three Fathers sin when they honor their children more than God.
Lesson Four Fathers sin when they overlook the sins of their children.
Lesson Five Fathers sin when they despise God and His purpose for their children. |
Eli and his sons held important positions as priests of God. They set examples for all the people of how people of God should act. They had been specially chosen by God to serve all of the people of God in the worship of God. Therefore, God held those priests to a very high standard. When the priests sinned, their sin brought trouble upon all the people of God. In this case, the priest Eli refused to follow his duty to correct his sons, who were also priests.
For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.
1 Samuel 3:13
God described the sons of Eli (Hophni and Phinehas) as worthless men who did not know the LORD and the custom of the priests with the people. 221 Samuel 2:12-13 Apparently, these children despised education in the ways of God, and spurned salvation from God. In those days, God had commanded that priests take meat from offerings by using a three-pronged fork to lift out portions from a boiling pot. 231 Samuel 2:13; Leviticus 7:29-34 God also directed that, before boiling, the fat of the meat be removed and burned separately as a soothing aroma. But Hophni and Phinehas wanted the meat raw, with the fat still intact. Through their servants, they forced the people of Israel coming to Shiloh to give them the offerings as they demanded. Those children of Eli corrupted all the sacrifices offered at Shiloh while they were in charge.
Hophni and Phinehas also polluted the morality of people coming to Shiloh. Many of the pagan temples in the land had male and female prostitutes. The evil sons of Eli “lay with the women who served at the doorway of the tent of meeting.” 241 Samuel 2:22 The Bible implies that the priests consented to the immorality and freely participated in the same. They thoroughly disregarded the holiness of God and their position as priests to serve God through their daily work. Instead, they viewed their position as an opportunity to satisfy their own hungers and lusts.
When he was old, Eli confronted his sons, Hophni and Phinehas, because he heard of their sinful behavior from other people. 251 Samuel 2:23-24 The Bible indicates that for many years Eli had been completely out of touch with his sons and neglected fatherly oversight of his sons. If you want to have children like Hophni and Phinehas, repeat the mistakes of Eli: do not educate your children about serving God according to their calling, do not keep in touch with your children, do not honestly evaluate the work of your children, make sure you get so busy doing God’s work you have no time for your adult children, and, in short, let your children do what they want without your spiritual guidance.
When Eli finally confronted Hophni and Phinehas, he told them that he had heard the bad report from the people. He warned his sons that no one can intercede for them before God, because they had sinned directly against the LORD. 261 Samuel 2:25 The sons compounded their sin by refusing to listen to their father’s words. 271 Samuel 2:25 God did not grant them repentance from their sins because God intended to put them to death. 281 Samuel 2:25
Eli himself not only failed his sons, but he also participated in the abuse of the sacrifices and offerings. One day a man of God confronted Eli, after he had rebuked his sons for their sins against God. Through the man of God, Eli heard about his sins: (1) he was “kicking at” the sacrifices and offerings of God in His holy dwelling; and (2) he honored his sons above God. 291 Samuel 2:29 Eli loved the choicest of every offering, and took it, growing extremely fat in the process.
The other major sin of Eli concerned his own devotion to his sons. God said Eli honored those boys more than Eli honored God. God commands fathers to love their children, but they must never honor children above God. The word “honor” here means to glorify, to esteem highly. Instead of the children following the commandment to honor their father, this father chose to honor his children above God. 30Cf. Exodus 20:12; 1 Samuel 2:29-30 God also observed that Eli knew about the iniquity of his sons, and that they brought a curse upon themselves, but Eli did not rebuke them. 311 Samuel 3:13
In consequence of the sin of Eli and his sons, God told Eli that He would break the strength of Eli and his house so that “there would not be an old man in your house.” 321 Samuel 2:31 God also cursed Eli by making him watch the holy house of God fall into distress, and the death of the increase of his house in the prime of their lives. 331 Samuel 2:32-33 Yet God told Eli that He would not cut off every man of Eli from serving at the altar of God. 341 Samuel 2:33
God brought unceasing grief upon the last days of Eli. In one day, both Hophni and Phinehas would die as a sign to Eli. 351 Samuel 2:34; see the ark of God taken from Israel, the sons of Eli killed, and how Eli, old and heavy, died when he heard the news 1 Samuel 4:1-18 Fathers should rebuke and correct their children, as often as needed, and avoid participating in the sins of the children. As Eli staggered under the curse of God, a young boy grew up before him to serve God as a judge, prophet and priest, and he would do according to what was in the heart and soul of God. 361 Samuel 2:35 Meanwhile, Eli’s remaining offspring would have to bow down to the new priest and seek a priestly office from him so that they may “eat a piece of bread.” 371 Samuel 2:36 From exalted priests to lowly beggars, so are the people who despise God and sin against Him. God remains true to His plans, and sin will not overcome God’s eternal will. He had chosen Samuel, and Eli had counseled Samuel’s mother and he raised the child as a priest.
SAMUEL:
SONS OF EVIL
During the days of Eli, God delivered a baby named Samuel to Eli so that Eli could train Samuel how to live for God as a priest. As we have seen above, Eli was a terrible father to his sons Hophni and Phinehas. Yet, God still brought Samuel to live with Eli at Shiloh, where he would learn to be a priest from Samuel. As Samuel later raised his own sons, his sons turned out to be very evil men, just like the sons of Eli.
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Lesson One Fathers, at times, must raise another man’s child. Even so, Fathers fail when they do not train that child to live for God.
Lesson Two Fathers fail when they do not heed the warnings of God regarding their own children.
Lesson Three Fathers fail when they do not correct their children.
Lesson Four Fathers fail when they do not spend enough time guiding their children to practice spiritual service to God.
Lesson Five Fathers fail when they do not talk to their children when they rise up and when they lie down. |
It came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son; and she named him Samuel, saying, ‘Because I have asked him of the Lord.’
1 Samuel 1:20
Samuel had a wonderful mother named Hannah. She and her husband, Elkanah, went to Shiloh every year to offer sacrifices and to pay his vow. 381 Samuel 1:21 Please remember that Hophni and Phinehas (the sons of Eli the priest) were priests there during this time. Elkanah’s other wife, Peninnah, had children and would provoke Hannah bitterly “because the LORD had closed her womb.” 391 Samuel 1:6 Even so, Elkanah loved Hannah, gave her a double portion, and was better to her “than ten sons.” 401 Samuel 1:8 Hannah really wanted a son, and if God would give her one, she vowed to God that she would “give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and a razor shall never come on his head.” 411 Samuel 1:11; compare the law of the Nazarite in Numbers 6:1-21
One day Hannah was praying before the LORD and Eli watched her. He thought she was drunk and told her to put away her wine. 421 Samuel 1:14 Notice here that Eli had no problem confronting Hannah, but neglected Hophni and Phinehas. She replied that she was not drunk, but praying because she was oppressed in spirit and pouring out her soul before the LORD. She spoke out of her great concern and provocation. Eli comforted her: “Go in peace; and may the God of Israel grant your petition that you have asked of Him.” 431 Samuel 1:17 As she went away, Hannah’s face lifted. Shortly thereafter, Hannah conceived and gave birth to Samuel, the child of his mother’s prayer and devotion. She named him Samuel “because I have asked him of the LORD.” 44 1 Samuel 1:20
After Hannah weaned Samuel, she and Elkanah went to Shiloh, and offered a bull as sacrifice for the boy. 45Leviticus 1:5; Leviticus 12:6-8; Luke 2:22ff. She then presented herself and Samuel to Eli and dedicated him to the service and worship of the LORD. 461 Samuel 1:28 Samuel then ministered to the LORD before Eli the priest 471 Samuel 2:11 and his mother brought him a “little robe” from year to year when she and Elkanah came to offer the yearly sacrifice. 481 Samuel 2:19 The LORD blessed Hannah and she gave birth to three sons and two daughters. 491 Samuel 2:21 Samuel grew before the LORD. In Hannah, God saw a woman who honored Him by keeping her vow and presenting the child to the LORD for His service. She had faith that God would keep His word and that her son would prosper in His service. 501 Samuel 2:1-11, the Prayer of Hannah
The LORD used Samuel to deliver a message that would tingle the ears of everyone who heard it. 511 Samuel 3:11 But the message was of woe and doom for Eli and his household. Because Eli had failed to rebuke his sons, and participated in their evil, the “iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.” 521 Samuel 3:14 Eli took this prophecy from the LORD by Samuel with grace: “It is the LORD; let Him do what seems good to Him.” 531 Samuel 3:18 Samuel had been afraid to tell Eli about that first prophecy, but Samuel obeyed Eli’s urging and did not hide the terrible news from him. As a result, Samuel grew before the LORD, and the LORD was with him and did not let any of his words fail. All Israel knew that Samuel was confirmed as a prophet of the LORD, and the LORD appeared again at Shiloh, because the LORD revealed Himself to Samuel at Shiloh by the word of the LORD. 541 Samuel 3:19-21
His sons, however, did not walk in his ways, but turned aside after dishonest gain and took bribes and perverted justice.
1 Samuel 8:3
Even though Samuel had been chosen of God to deliver the terrible prophecy of disaster to Eli, Samuel had problems with his children too. When Samuel had grown old, all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to him. They had a simple message: your sons do not walk in your ways and so we demand you appoint a king like all the nations. 551 Samuel 8:4-5 The elders and people had great respect for Samuel, but absolutely none for his children. His sons, like Eli’s sons, forsook the ways of God and suffered the consequences. With Samuel, the period of the Judges of Israel ends and the era of kings begins. God told Samuel that the people of Israel, by asking for a king, had rejected God as their King. They specifically asked for a “king to judge us.” 561 Samuel 8:6 But really, they also wanted a king to lead them in battle, like the other nations. God told Samuel to grant their request, but required Samuel to warn them of the great cost of having a king. In closing, Samuel declared that because the people had chosen a king for themselves, the LORD would not answer in the day they would cry out because of their king. 571 Samuel 8:18-19
DAVID:
SONS OF THE SWORD
In 1010 B.C., David became king over Judah and then in 1003 B.C. he became king over all Israel. David had the following children, starting with the firstborn son: Amnon, Chileab, Absalom, Adonijah, Shephatiah, and Ithream. The story of David includes the violent death of several sons. But to understand those terrible losses, you must understand the sins of David.
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Lesson One Fathers who commit adultery will face evil results both today and tomorrow.
Lesson Two Fathers who triumph in their greatest battles must beware of sexual temptations which follow.
Lesson Three Fathers teach their children about sex by the way they have sex and the sexual things they do.
Lesson Four Fathers must recognize that their sexual sins affect both their marriages and the lives of their children.
Lesson Five Fathers must confront their children about their sexual sins, even if they have sinned sexually themselves.
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King David triumphed over his enemies and established a very strong kingdom for God. In fact, the women sang that King Saul had killed his thousands, but David had killed his ten thousands. 581 Samuel 18:7 After David had defeated very strong enemies in battle with his army, David faced sexual temptation and sexually sinned against God. His sexual sin produced bad results for his life and the people of Israel. But, first, we will look at how God raised up David to be king over Israel. Just because God has blessed you with great victories does not guarantee that you will not sin great sexual sins.
Now therefore, thus you shall say to My servant David, ‘Thus says the LORD of hosts, “I took you from the pasture, from following the sheep, to be ruler over My people Israel.'”
2 Samuel 7:8
God chose David, a shepherd boy, to succeed Saul as king of Israel. After Samuel anointed David, God formed a special covenant with him. God promised David that he would never have to fear that his offspring would be replaced by God as God had replaced King Saul with David. God also promised David peace and prosperity. 592 Samuel 7:8 ff. God also made a covenant that He would raise up a royal line from David to sit upon the throne of Israel. God declared he would be a father to David’s son, and God’s loving-kindness would never depart from David’s descendants.
Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.
2 Samuel 12:10
Not long after God gave David these tremendous promises of great blessing, David fell into sexual sin with Bathsheba. After he committed adultery with her, David then murdered her husband and valiant warrior, Uriah the Hittite. God sent Nathan the prophet to David to confront him with his sin. David had despised God and His blessings, opting instead to live in wild rebellion. God spared the life of David, but pronounced a sentence upon the family of David fitting David’s crimes. First, because David had killed Uriah by the sword of the Ammonites, so the sword would never depart from the the house of David. Second, evil would rise up against David from within his own household. Third, David’s wives would be taken under the sun and given to his companion, even before his own eyes. Upon hearing the sentence, David confessed his sin against the LORD. But a final blow remained. The son of adultery with Bathsheba would also die. 602 Samuel 12:1-15 God then records the fulfillment of the prophecy of the sword among David’s sons.
Amnon.
David’s son, Amnon, loved Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom. Even though Amnon and Tamar had David as father, their mothers were Ahinoam and Maacah (a daughter of a king herself), respectively. The incestuous heart of Amnon burned for his half sister, and he and Jonadab (his evil friend) concocted a plot to get her for Amnon. 612 Samuel 13
So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.’
2 Samuel 13:6
Amnon pretended to be ill, and arranged for Tamar to bring him food. As she brought the food to his bed, he grabbed her and violated her, despite her protests. Notice the two sexual sins of Amnon: incest and rape. But then, Amnon hated her with a violent hatred and sent her away. She went to Absalom, told him the story, and remained desolate in the house of Absalom. Two years later, Absalom had his revenge upon Amnon. Absalom had a great feast for his brothers, and then sent his servants to kill Amnon. The sword had just devoured its first victim, Amnon, the firstborn of David, and Absalom had wielded it in retaliation for sexual and incestuous sin in the house of David.
Absalom
At this point, Absalom had the blood of his half-brother Amnon on his hands and he fled to Geshur and the protection offered by Talmai of his mother’s family. David mourned for the loss of his son Absalom every day. 622 Samuel 13:24-37 Joab, the commander of King David’s army, devised a plan to bring Absalom home.
The the king said to Joab, ‘Behold now, I will surely do this thing; go therefore, bring back the young man Absalom.’
2 Samuel 14:21
After a period of three years, Joab conceived a plan using the woman from Tekoa to convince David that Absalom should be brought back to Jerusalem, and allowed to live. 632 Samuel 14:1-20 The plan worked, and David permitted Absalom to return. Over a period of many years, Absalom fomented rebellion and stole the hearts of the men of Israel away from David. 642 Samuel 15:1-6 Absalom then seized power and David had to flee Jerusalem. Absalom took possession of both the city and his father’s concubines. He set up a tent on the roof, and used those concubines to make himself odious to his father David. 652 Samuel 16 Notice the sexual sin of Absalom: he had sex with women who were not his wives (adultery) and with the concubines of his father. 66Leviticus 18:8 David gathered his forces, and sent them against Absalom under the command of Joab. Twenty thousand men of Israel fell in the ensuing battle, and Joab killed Absalom, disregarding the direct command of David to spare the life of Absalom. 672 Samuel 18:1-19 Upon hearing the news of Absalom’s death, David lapsed into grief-stricken depression. The sword had now struck down the second son of David, but had not yet departed from his house. Furthermore, just as prophesied, what David had done sexually in private, Absalom had done to his concubines before all Israel.
Adonijah
As David grew old, Adonijah his son exalted himself and Joab and Abiathar the priest supported his bid for the throne. King David faced rebellion from several of his sons.
Now Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, ‘I will be king.’ So he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen with fifty men to run before him.
1 Kings 1:5
Although Adonijah exalted himself as king, King David never crossed Adonijah at any time by asking, “Why have you done so?” 681 Kings 1:6. King David greatly failed Adonijah by not confronting him about his self-exaltation to king. Many people want to make themselves king of something, but God exalts kings according to His plans. Meanwhile, Bathsheba heard of the rise of Adonijah and immediately sought an audience with David. She reminded David that he had promised her that their son Solomon would be the next king. David directed Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet to anoint Solomon king over Israel. 691 Kings 1:1-37 He immediately took the throne and Adonijah begged for his own life. King Solomon spared the life of self-exalting Adonijah, but told him “Go to your house.” Adonijah then sent Solomon’s mother, Bathsheba, to Solomon and asked for Abishag, the maid of David, to become his wife. Notice the sexual sin of Adonijah in seeking Abishag, the maid of David, to be his wife. 70Leviticus 18:8. Solomon discerned the rebellious motives of Adonijah and dispatched Adonijah by the hand of Benaiah. The sword had now taken a third son of David.
With the great King David, we see how his sexual sins as a father and leader of Israel had terrible consequences in both his life and the lives of his entire family. Children learn from their fathers, and King David had set a terrible example in the areas of sexual conduct for his own children. They too had sexual sin in their lives, plus rebellion against God and King David. Fathers must learn to avoid the problems of sexual sin and strive in Christ to set great spiritual examples.
Conclusion
As we have seen from Abraham to David, God loves for fathers to train their children to walk in love with Yahweh. Children fall into terrible sins, especially sexual sins, when their fathers become so involved in other things and other people that fathers neglect the spiritual welfare of their children, especially the spiritual welfare of their adult children. Your children should never leave your spiritual oversight and never neglect your spiritual guidance, just like you never leave the spiritual guidance of your heavenly Father. God loves fathers, and every family on earth and in heaven derives its name from their heavenly Father. May the grace of God abound in the lives of all fathers to the glory of God reflected in the lives of their children.
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